A wibbly wobbly mess…..
Making a mad dash from London to Hampshire for a meeting at Primrose’s new school one evening last week, I had one precious hour in the car to contemplate life, the universe and new kitchens. Having sold our house in the Big Smoke, we are waiting for solicitors to let us know when all is set with the new ‘cottage’. Moving is tantalisingly close now yet still we are in limbo. Patience I know, dear Reader, is required…. However, I am ready to get packing and start carving up kitchen cabinets and fitting an Everhot! Bombing down the M3 with music blaring, I was lost in these very thoughts as I passed field upon field of glorious oil seed rape all sunshine and dayglow yellow in the evening light.
Turning off the motorway, driving through windy lanes and then up the long school driveway, I wondered what Primrose’s new school might have in store for me that evening. Stepping into a room filled with exceptionally well turned out mummies, I quickly breathed a sigh of relief that I had decided to leave my Barbour in the car. Thank goodness I had also dusted the cobwebs off my Portobello Market ‘Mulberry‘ handbag. Where were the ladies in wellies and tweed? This was, after all, a countryside school. A sea of double barrelled surnames rather than shotguns….I felt cheated, dear Reader. Talk turned to our relocation, choice of village and profession and I felt instantly sidelined – a ‘townie’ in their midst. What was I doing? I was never going to fit in in the countryside if these über-mums were anything to go by. Everyone seemed to live within ten minutes of the school and they all knew each other in that rather annoying “Do you remember when little Johnny did such and such at the May day fair?“. It was like being on the set of Mean Girls. Where was the industrial sized gin when I needed it?! Suddenly I could see that our school run of 25mins each way would probably result in no one wanting to come and play with Primrose after school. Too late to do anything about it now though…..as we were about to exchange on our new house and Jerry was set on living a 15 minute drive away from the best commuter station. I drove back to London and went straight to bed, convinced that moving to the countryside was all a massive mistake.
‘Walking is Man’s best medicine’ – Hippocrates
To make matters worse, Primrose had her own wobble the following morning and decided that she wasn’t going to move. Tears and wailing ensued and cries of “You and Daddy are very mean taking me from all my friends…” Our usual morning chit-chat was replaced with sniffs and blowing of noses as I tried gallantly to save the situation and talk up the advantages of having a bigger garden. Neither of us were convinced to be honest, dear Reader. Nursery drop off completed (tears at the door for the first time), I armed myself with strong coffee and the advice of some very sweet friends and headed off to the park with Poppy and the pup. Woodpeckers, bluebells, a serene herd of deer, giggly toddler and a happy hound…..amazing how a good walk and the sights and sounds of nature at its best can restore a troubled soul. Just enjoying moments looking, listening and being able to marvel at all the things which somehow the hustle and bustle doesn’t allow time for. The countryside makes you want to slow down, take stock and enjoy the simpler things in life, like a good walk. With that mantra firmly in hand, I decided that I was not going to let a little wobble about moving stand in our way, nor the cast of Mean Schoolmums either! Turned out that Primrose had had a change of heart too as she skipped out of the nursery doors with a drawing of our new house in Hampshire in her hand………and despite our little wobbles, we are both smiling about our new life in the countryside.
Primrose’s little glimpse into our future in the countryside!
If you didn’t have a wobble you wouldnt be human!! You are going to do really well, everyone will love the fact that you’ve moved to their village and soon enough Primrose and you will be play dating all over the county! Meanwhile stay strong and don’t rush out to buy a tweed suit! http://lifeafterlondon.com/useful-information/lifestyle-articles/what-not-to-wear-in-the-country
I’ll definitely need the fashion link Bee! Thank you so much for your lovely advice xxxx
Wobbles are normal. In fact, wobbles are necessary to make sure you *are* doing the right thing. Change is always a bit frightening even when it’s change for the better or a change you desperately want.
But it will get easier. This limbo stage is the worst. Ours lasted months and months due to unforeseen legal complications. But in the end, it all worked out.
My boys are much happier, more chilled out and although the eldest misses his friends, he’s having a ball making new ones.
Hang in there! xx
I am so pleased that you are all settling in so well. You are right – this limbo stage is so tricky. Not long now though and I know the move will be better for all of us. Thanks lovely Eggdipdip xxxx
I’m sure this is all perfectly normal for anyone contemplating such a huge life change. You’ll always have the therapy of being able to blog about it and getting lots of love from the blogging community. Good luck x
Thank you so much! It is a huge life change but it really helps when you can share it and lovely people like you comment back!
Chin up! We moved the opposite way around (ish) in 2011 when we upped sticks from Very rural Dorset to a big town school (albeit prep). The Mummy Mafia can be very daunting, but a lot of the time I think they don’t mean to be. That said, I have the added bonus of teaching there too and my OH is dep head. Fixed grin at all times and nearly 2 years later I still don’t remember their names….
I have a 25 min drive too and playdates are infrequent (thank god) but doable at the weekends, half terms etc. best of both worlds!
They’ll try to get you on the PA in no time, dahling! Xx
Mummy Mafia -LOVE that! Primrose has made me promise that I won’t teach at her school…have taught at her nursery and she is not a huge fan of me being there! Thanks for all your lovely kind words xxx PS – hope they don’t ask me to be on the PA, I want to keep my gin lush reputation intact!
Good luck with the move! In my experience there are slightly mean mums everywhere, but lots of nice ones too! Found you on Sarah Miles Monday Club.
Fingers crossed! Thanks for hopping across from Sarah!
Visiting via The Monday Club – your post brought back many memories of our first move to the sticks. I remember the Mumfia very well and it took a while but we did eventually find a group of like-minded and friendly souls. Our daughters settled much more quickly and by the time the Christmas fayre and nativity came around we felt part of things. Don’t forget too that it’s great fun having old friends to visit.
That is so good to know that your daughters settled in quickly as I have been really worried about Primrose. We know one couple there already but no one else apart from parents and in laws. Thank you so much for commenting! Makes me feel better to know others have gone through it too!
I love this post.
I’m in the process of moving from North London to Herts (waiting to exchange) so I need all the tips I can get.
I’m sure it will all be marvellous.
Oh thank you! We are in the same position waiting to exchange on new house. Move on 1st Aug! Good luck!
We are going to be doing something a bit similar soon – Cardiff to the wilds of Wiltshire and I think I am most scared about the other mums! I’m quite shy anyway and the idea of making completely new friends from scratch just….eek! I dont even own a dusty posh handbag to break out, so lets hope they’re less Mulberry and more blackberry crumble…..
But like you, I know we’re doing it for the right reasons and I’m dearly looking forward to bringing my children up as countryside babies 🙂
Believe me my posh handbag is more Fakeberry than Mulberry! We can’t wait for our girls to be countryside babies too! We’ll be the crumble together! Xx
It’s only human to have a wobble when you’re making such a big life change. School mum’s can be a little on the terrifying side! It’s like you are back at school yourself!! It still feels unsettled probably because you aren’t there yet, that makes you feel even more on the ‘outside’. As soon as you’ve settled into your new house it will feel more ‘right’ I’m sure. I felt a little like this when we moved too. x
Thank you for your lovely wise words. I think it definitely is worse because we aren’t there yet. Hoping that there are really nice people in the village to get to know! x
I don’t think you would be normal if you weren’t have a little wobble. You’re doing it for the right reasons and if you don’t go, what would happen to your blog?! On a serious note, I am sure that you will quickly get to know the other mums and by the sound of things, your daughter is likely to slot right in – at least she will be joining at the beginning of the school and you’re not making her move at age 10 or something! You’ll be grand!
Oh Suzanne! Thank you! Am hoping that Primrose will do just that and then it will be easier for her and all of us to make new friends. Xx
I don’t think that moving a long way away is ever easy. Although DH and I are both French, living in England, we’ve never moved with our four children, all born here. Whenever we mention the possibility to move back to France (the very remote possibility!) there are tears!
Good luck in your new life 🙂
Oh thank you Mother Goutte! Am definitely going to need all the luck I can get!!
Moving is always a big deal, for me that was one of the biggest stresses in my adult life. But once you get settled, you will know you made the right decision. Good luck in your new place. Hope the double-barrelled ladies change your views and don’t happen to fit the stereotypes.
you may have more wobbles but you know your doing the right thing for the right reasons i am sure it will go well xx
I’ve had plenty of wobbles over the last month or so and completely sympathise as I’m going through the same as you – Grace currently goes to school over half an hour away but after seeing the potential new achools in Somerset I feel so much better :). Thanks for linking up – at least I know someone else is going through what I am xx
It’s always going to be a scary thing moving to a new area, we’ve just done it and was much easier for me going to work everyday than my wife. It will be worth it though and you’ll soon forget living in the big smoke, especially once you start getting out with the hound in the fields!